Some parents need to “parent up”

Like any decent post, this diatribe will likely resonate with some parents and anger others.  I feel compelled to point out that a whole new generation of “push-over” parents are raising a new generation of brats with an over-the-top sense of entitlement.  There seems to be an emerging trend of parents who want to be friends with their kids.  I want to have a good relationship with my kids, but one has to draw the line at some point.

Parents know that parenting can often be a real drag.  Continually displining your kids and setting boundaries can be exhausting and unpleasant.  But, as discussed in other posts, I think kids need and want boundaries no matter how much they protest.  Obviously, parents have to pick battles selectively.  However, what happens when parents don’t pick battles at all?

Obnoxious brats.

kid-yelling-at-mom-e1311649360391 shutterstock_103529144__1376054441_74.134.205.46 zzsnotty1

 

This becomes an issue for other parents because 1) it can rub off on your own kids if they spend enough time with these darlings, and 2) it makes social situations with multiple families unpleasant and awkward.  Who wants to listen to another parent’s kid argue, berate, or entirely ignore that parent?

We need to find a happy middle ground between Dr. Spock (the pediatrician, not the  pointy-eared guy) and our own parents’ old-school tough parenting.

 

Signs of smart phone addiction (kids and adults)

Drum roll, please…

letterman

10.  A full battery charge barely lasts the day.

My kids have ingeniously procured these nifty battery pack/cases.  They are a protective case and double the battery life.  Pretty cool, right?  Not when you find them under the covers at 1am still ‘gaming.’

9.  You download apps just for the fun of it.

My kids easily have over 200 apps, and counting.  Unfortunately, I think the latest roll-out of Apple’s iOS (with folder function) theoretically allows the user to downloand something like 2,800+ apps.  Why?  Because they say it’s fun to download them.

8.  You actually use more than 10 apps on a regular basis.

Some apps are necessary and useful (contacts, calendar, online banking, maps, etc.)  Other apps have become a part of our lives (Facebook, Twitter, Kindle, iTunes, etc.).  Do you really need and use all of the apps you have?  My kids literally have more than 10 different game versions (apps) of ‘Tomb Raider.’

7.  Realizing you forgot to bring your phone with is a panic-inducing.

On a recent trip to do some day-hiking, my son left is iPhone at home.  Close to tears, he wanted us to turn the car around when we were almost at our destination (about 30 minutes drive).  When she forgets her iTouch, my daughter has been known to just stare at my son’s iPhone while he plays it.

6.  You’re on your smart phone even when hanging out with friends.

When my kids hang out with your friends, say at the park or at the house, I’ve noticed times when everyone is on their smart phone.  Sometimes they can play the same game online – the “virtual play date.”

5.  You take your phone to the bathroom.

My kids’ bathroom visits have lengthened considerably since they started taking their devices in with them.

4.  You “dress up” your smart phone.

Simply put, you own more than one smart phone case and change them regularly just to mix things up.

3. You feel the need to respond immediately.

When that chime goes off or the phone rings, my kids immediately rush for their phones.  When this behavior interrupted dinner, I initiated the basket rule (they need permission to take out their devices).

 2. You feel restless and/or bored when your phone is not in your hands.

If you experience intense curiosity or even anxiety when you can’t check your texts, Twitter, Facebook, or whatever, you are hooked.

And, the number one reason you know your kid (or you) are a smart phone addict –

1. You are oblivious to where you are and who you are with.

When I had to start repeating everything 3 or 4 times, I knew distraction-prone smart phones had to go.  When I noticed my kids (and myself) unintentionally ignoring or neglecting family members and friends, I realized we all had a problem…

 

inspiration for signs of addiction from: Huff Post article by Carolyn Gregoire, iMore.com, allgrownup.com (all of these signs were aimed at adults…until now)

Good quote from the writer on allgrownup.com  “Is what I’m looking at my phone for more important than what I’m choosing to look away from?”

 

 

“Mental health day” for you child

I borrowed this idea from another mom in our school.  My daughter is soooo stressed-out about the homework load, she actually worked herself into getting physically sick last night (sour stomach, headache, and emotional fireworks, etc.).

Ironically, two years ago our school played the movie “Road to Nowhere” for all the students to watch.  The school then had a separate showing for the parents followed by a Q&A.

If you have not checked out Road to Nowhere, it’s a fantastic movie about the increasingly pressure-cooker environment in which we are raising our kids.  Heavy homework loads and after-school activities almost every night make it difficult for kids to just be “kids.”

Down-time = creativity.  Time for social interaction and varied activities are crucial for well-rounded and well-adjusted kids.

Putting kid’s in a pressure-cooker enviornment to “prepare” them for matriculation into a ‘top’ high school or ‘top’ college may backfire.

Anyone reading my posts knows I’m not into pampering kids.  But, we all have to remember they are kids.  They should be allowed the opportunity to find themselves and slowly prepare for the ‘real’ world.

Sometimes, we all need to stop and think about what’s really important…a child’s happiness and healthy development846-02796994.

Getting off the soap box now…

Yours truly, mistermomblog

 

Who knew washing dishes and folding laundering could be so therapeutic??

Just kidding…I just tossed a heap of clothes (clean) in my kids’ bedroom, and I haven’t seen the bottom of our kitchen sink for 4 days now. I think there’s something swimming around with the dirty dishes.

Hey, all of you caregivers without the means to keep domestic help to do all this stuff: how do you keep your sanity???

I’ve heard answers ranging from pinot noir to a six-pack of pabst blue ribbon. I figure there’s got to be some other outlet besides imbibing.

thebigeasy